04 Dec 2015
Delhi II - First Night, part 2
What ACTUALLY happened
In reality, I’m being a bit retarded. Not so much a shark, more of a deranged hippo in a sewer.
Did you catch what was going on? I obviously didn’t and it took me half a day and a few conversations with other travellers to really appreciate the beauty of what happened here.
Of course they were all in on it! The whole thing is a brazen scam and famous enough that I could have avoided it just by doing some basic research on Delhi. Oh well…
So here’s the thing: There’s exactly one official, legit tourist information in Delhi. This one wasn’t it. You find places calling themselves “Government Tourist Information” all over town, but these places are just travel agencies exploiting tourists’ belief that anything calling itself that must be legit. Nope, not in India.
Here is how it works: The tuktuk driver finds some pretense to take his passengers to one of those agencies - a festival, a political event, the second coming of the messiah. The agency picks up the pretense for why you can’t get to your hotel. In the absence of an internet connection you can’t really check. When they offer to call the hotel, they don’t dial the number you give them, instead they dial their accomplices in the room next door, who’ll play along and confirm the initial pretense. In the meantime the agency tries to sell you on overpriced tour packages. Eventually, the accomplices call you back, letting you know you won’t be able to stay at your hotel. At this point, the driver will take you to whatever hotel they recommend instead. There you’ll be drastically overcharged for the room, a part of which goes to the driver as a commission for luring you there in the first place.
Simple, eh? I fell for it completely. When I figured it out I felt this particular mixture of anger and shame you get when you find yourself scammed. I briefly entertained the notion of going back to the ‘Government Tourist Information’ and having a little chat with them. I daydreamed of the whole building burning down and the smell of bacon rising from their charred bodies. In the end, none of that came to pass. Instead, I put it down as a learning experience:
There is always room for a bit more cynicism: If you’re reading this you’re likely a fairly sceptical person - by western standards. In India, that’s not enough. Somebody says they work for the government? Could be, but I wouldn’t count on it. A taxi driver tells you he knows the place you want to get to? Maybe, but it’s unlikely. The truth had a distinctly subjective flavour in Delhi and I felt myself tiring of that, especially with the petty, bold-faced lies of vendors, tour guides and drivers. I’ve always tried to think the worst of people, but some people managed to be even worst-er. Lesson learned.
Common sense, bring it: No free hotel rooms under 150 USD a night. Come on. Think about it: Delhi has a population of about 20 million. Average monthly income is around 300 USD. Sound fishy? My only excuse is that it was really late and I was really tired and…eh, forget it.
Get that SIM card at the airport: The internet is a fantastic way of fact-checking a lot of things. Festival dates for example, or hotel prices. Addresses even. Don’t rely on other peoples’ internet connections, they have a habit of cutting out at inconvenient times.
A sidenote: About 4 out of 5 western travelers I spoke to in Delhi had fallen for the exact same scam. One of them had been taken for 250 USD that night. All of them seemed to feel that mixture of embarrassment and amazement at the shamelessness of the scam. Why the city is allowing those places to keep using the whole ‘government’ label is beyond me, though I do have a suspicion…
This first night was probably the crappiest first impression I ever got of a country. Luckily, after that things got better: I met some amazing people, saw some incredibly sights and had a great time overall. Despite what you have read so far, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in India. More on that later.
Until next time,
Arne